My day today .. maybe its my kick starter motivation

ok, so my daughter, Rilee was in her second NBHA today. She is in the pee wee's. She normally wants her daddy to help but he is gone to work a college rodeo in Uvalde. (God we miss him!)

but we had mema and papa there to video and of course, when we got home I had to watch the video. It just makes me sick to look at myself. So tonight I started a diet and walked around the block twice. Im going to try and at least make 2 laps everynight that I can.

soo .. Ive just got to have a bragging moment right now. and kind of a "confession" time for me, I guess you could say. Ive got feelings that I need to say about my husband but for some reason, its very hard for me to express to him. The only feelings I can freely express are angry/crabby ones

I love my husband very much. And you dont know how selfish I feel for saying that due to one of my best friends going through some ruff times. But I dont think I could ever make it without Mark, no matter how much or how little we differ. We do have our differences, what couple doesnt, but for the most part Mark and I are soo much alike. I am very proud of him and I just beam with pride! I do not feel complete without him. He is a great father and is the bestest friend I own. (or have, lol)

I just feel like sometimes I am letting him down in some way. I want to make him the happiest man alive and I feel like I fail terribly.

So, part of my reason for starting this blog is so Mark can check it and see how or what I feel. I have a problem with verbally showing emotion when it comes to my problems. I know thats hard to believe for some of my friends but, what the hay .. whatever works, right?!

Alright .. givin my hand at it!

Ok, so after reading Jenn's blogs .. I finally came to the conclusion that blogging might be my own free therapy. It will give me a chance to jot down feelings and thoughts at the moment ... and that will help me "feel" like Ive gotten some much needed stuff lifted off my shoulders.

sooo, bare with me .. Im no professional blogger by any means .. but here goes nothing!

Tootle-loo